Dear Tony Blair...

Hey Tony,

I know you've been waiting for my answer to the middle east crisis because it's really your job to sort that whole mess out now, and I know you read my blog. I've been working on this issue in my head for 13 years now ever since I first went to Israel and Palestine in 1997 when I was 11. I remember when I came back I wanted to live there, and I remember thinking a lot about the issues. I once did a gym routine, where I was Benjamin Netenyahou and I made my best friend at the time Frankie be Yassa Arafat and essencially we just had a big fight on those gym benches that are the main componant of primary school gyms. Yassa won, because in my 11 year old logic he was the goodie. political gym routines are where it's at, I'd like to see a lot more of them in the 2012 olympics.

Anyway back to 1997...my solution to the middle east crisis then, was simular to the solution for who had the biggist slice of pizzza in my house. One cuts the other chooses, I even didn't mind the israelis cutting who were not really my favorites of the two sides. I know your not ment to have favorites but our family holiday was a little bit biased, we stayed opposit a palestinian refugee camp and most of the israelis we saw had guns and looked scary. -I loved my non-packaged childhoood family holidays!

Things have come a long way since then and I have made 3 more trips there on my own totalling 4 months living there. Plus I've read a few things and done art based on it, and I even know someone who's babysitter is the neice of Yassa (that's one of my favorite claims to fame, if you don't know who yassa is he's the one that's famous for the 'tea-towl-on-your-head' look, although he's dead now) so with all this political information in my brain I'm now at least as qulified as Tony to do the middle east job, plus I recently watched a Ross Kemp documentary. In that documentary he basically said there are good people who want peace on both sides but there are also a minority on both sides that want to keep fighting...so that's basically 3 groups, and what I realised is there's also 3 bits of land: Israel, the west bank and Gaza.

so the obvious solution is:
Israel is kept just for nice Israelis the kind that just want to eat bagels.
The West Bank is kept for the nice Palestinians the kind that just want to eat falafil
and Gaza can be for the baddies the kind of people who don't care about bagels or falafil the kind that just want to kill each other. After a while all the badies will have killed eachother and the world will be a happy place.

So Tony there's something for you to be getting on with, let me know when it's sorted.
xx